Why I'm a Wii-tard

I've never been good at video games. I think I was in first grade when we begged our parents for a Nintendo ES. I was never coordinated enough to catch up with Lake in Super Mario Bros to ever save the princess so I kept to Duck Hunt. Apparently sitting 2 ft away from the screen is cheating. Even then, I would become frustrated at the laughing dog.

A few years later my interest was renewed when I received the gift of a Barbie Nintendo game. This is sadly the only game we (oh yes Lake, I am calling you out) could never beat. We could dodge the flying fashion accessories, but the dang fountains at the mall got ya every time. I think Lake made it to the 3rd level once, but I never did make it to my dream date with Ken.

I think my problem was the fact that I didn't want to push the buttons on the controller so much as I wanted to "steer" the controller in the direction I wanted it to go. Oh, and yell at it when that didn't happen. 18 years later, someone finally read my mind and invented the Wii. I don't have to push all the buttons to go in directions, I get to move the controller! MarioKart finally has a wheel controller- the way I believe it was always "nintended" to. Sure I over-correct my pink kart (no Chris-not like in real life) and fall off Rainbow Road everytime, but I'm tons better than I used to be.

So what's my point? The point is, the stupid Wii is dangerous. Yes, it fights childhood obesity. Yes, it helps the elderly with physical therapy. Yes, it solved my own personal video gaming issues. But dangit, did the stupid bowling and tennis games have to make me sprain my knee?!?!? I popped it further at work today, so now it's all swollen. Enjoy the pic of my leg here at work today. Yes, that is ice duct-taped to my pants. Everyone there had a good laugh, you might as well share in the fun.