The Garbage Man

Late last night I'm sitting on the couch while Chris takes Cally for her final walk of the night. I hear this strange noise, like someone is scooting a box across the floor. It continues and I finally see Cally slowly and pathetically walking towards me while dragging her leash behind her. Chris is nowhere to be seen. Keep in mind it's like after 11pm. Suddenly the front door swings open and all I see is the black silhouette of a man holding a giant judo-like stick and the moonlight in the background. Kinda creepy.
"DEYA! There is something in our garbage!" Exhale. The creepy figure with the weapon is Chris.
"And by something you mean...?"
"So Cally and I were walking and I heard a noise coming from our garbage and looked to see the lid slowly closing. So I ran over and yelled, 'I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! COME OUT! GET OUT OF MY GARBAGE!' But the dude wouldn't come out. So I grabbed this walking stick and started beating on the side of the can while I was yelling at him to come out. So I finally flipped up the lid and shoved the stick inside to poke him and he grabbed the stick and started pulling on it back! But I don't think it's a person anymore because it's too small. I could get the stick in there too far."
At this point I'm putting on my shoes knowing full well how this is about to go down and wishing the battery for our video camera was charged. So we both go around to the garbage can, flip the lid back and I step up to the can (insert yelled warnings from Chris about vicious attacks that are about to occur). Two little black eyes look up at me. "Hey Mr. Raccoon. I would really appreciate if you could please go through someone else's garbage and not ours. Thanks." I stepped back, he calmly climbed out and ran away.
I don't know why our house is such a target for wildlife, but we do enjoy all the blogging material it provides!